Confessions of a Spastic Sidekick
by illogicallyponed56
Summary: She just doesn't want to be embarrassed for once in her life. Unfortunately, when you're best friends with Hannah Montana, have a crush on a cute boy, and named Lilly Truscott, that really isn't an option.
1. Breakdown

**Disclaimer: Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers do not belong to me. Sadly.**

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Dear Diary,

I think I am slowly losing my mind. I mean, come on, I'm talking to a book. Which, by the way, I am totally not happy about. My best friend Miley gave you to me and told me to write because keeping my thoughts and feelings bottled up isn't healthy. Psh. I've only flipped out once. And that was yesterday. In the cafeteria. Surrounded by 200 other people. But, you know, it's not like it was embarrassing or anything. Psh.

Alright, I lied. It was quite possibly the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. And that's saying something. It all started when I saw my crush, John Walker. I was in my own world when Miley handed me a napkin.

"Lils, (Which is me; Lilly) you might want to wipe up that drool.

I scoff at that. I was so not drooling. Well just a little. But John is hot, I really can't be blamed. If you weren't a book, you'd totally drool too.

Anyway, as I was wiping my face, I couldn't help but notice John sat down by Maddie, his new gorgeous girlfriend. Oho, if looks could kill, Maddie would long be buried.

Miley noticed my glare and patted my arm. "I'm sorry. But there are plenty of fish in the sea."

Well great, so says Little Miss Popstar. Oh sorry what? Why yes, I am best friends with Hannah Montana. Who is Miley. But that, Diary, is a long, slightly complicated story that I have no desire to tell.

Back to my mental breakdown. I mean, I can't even focus when I'm writing. Who ramble-writes? No one I know, that's for sure. Focus Lilly!

Ok so after Miley gave me her encouraging line of wisdom and then after Oliver, St. Sarah, Jackson, and about 20 other people expressed their sorrow at my pain, I guess you could say I kinda lost it.

If by kinda, you mean full fledge and by lost it, you mean totally freaked out, then yeah. Jumped up, I did, and pretty much yelled.

"I DON'T CARE IF JOHN'S WITH MADDIE! SO WHAT IF HE'S HOT? I DON'T NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY!!"

I sat back down to complete silence. It was pretty awkward. Someone coughed and all hell broke loose. Oh, thinking about the laughter and when John and Maddie looked at me in pity makes my eye twitch. Which, strangely enough , does not look attractive on me.

So that basically brings you up to speed and I am now locked in my room, refusing to come out. I will die in here before I have to see anyone from school or public in general.

Wait. I hear Miley at the door. She's bribing me with a Hannah concert and a surprise guest. But I won't go. I am staying strong!

Ok, I'll go. But I won't enjoy it. And I'm coming straight home and locking myself in my room and then I'll die.

Sounds good.

Lilly

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Hey guys! This is my first multi-chapter story and I have a basic idea of where I want to take it, but I would love some ideas! Spazz!Lilly is really fun to write and it sure beats studying for finals/AP tests


	2. Fantastilistic

**Disclaimer: Sorry, still don't own anything**

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Dear Diary,

I think I am destined to walk the Earth, alone and constantly embarrassed, like some kind of ghost, with chains of mortification wrapped around my ankles, making it hard to run away, so people can just point and laugh.

Ok, that's a little overdramatic, but really, it seems like I make a fool of myself constantly.

Take for instance, what happened tonight. After Miley bribed me out of my room and dragged me to her house to become Hannah and Lola, we went to the stadium.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Miley and love going to celebrity parties and just being the fabulous Lola in general. However, going to at least one concert a week gets boring.

So as Miley was performing, I was listening to my iPod, wishing I was home, alone in my room. I mean, how can I wallow in self-pity at a Hannah Montana concert? I can't. It's too peppy and right now, I'm not a peppy person. I needed to get out of here.

But just I was about to make a brake for the exit, Miley came waltzing over, all happy. Which made me even angrier at the world.

"Ok, so I was gonna wait to reveal the secret guests but I'm too excited!"

Oh my god, I was going to drown in the happy. Couldn't she see I was trying to fold myself into my emotions and never again be happy?

"Alright… drumroll please! We are going to be meeting… the Jonas Brothers!"

And in my head, I was like, oh please. I don't care about meeting anyone. Then I realized she said jonas and brothers. And she said them together. Which equals JONAS BROTHERS!

"Eep!! The Jonas Brothers? This is the best pick me up ever! Have I mentioned how much I love you lately? Oh the Jonas Brothers are amazing. And I know you love Nick, but have you seen Kevin? Wow, is all I can say. And their music is amazing. Oh my gosh, this is fantastalistic! Hey, that's a Jonas quote. Wow, they sure have an impact on my life! And they are so hot, especially Kevin. But Nick and Joe aren't too bad on the eyes either."

"Uh Lola…" Miley interrupted me. Oblivious to the surely bad news that was basically guaranteed to follow, because remember, this is me we are talking about. So, I rambled on.

"Now, I know what you're going to say. How can you like Kevin? Nick's our age and Joe is only two years older. But Kevin? Well, falling for Nick and Joe is so clichéd. And you always hear 'Blah, blah, blah, Nick's a studmuffin, blah, blah, blah, Joe is hilarious and so hot, blah, blah, blah, why is Kevin in the band?'"

"Lola!" She sounded kind of frantic.

"And yes, Nick is a studmuffin and yes, Joe is hilarious and hot. But Kevin…"

"Is extremely handsome and talented on the guitar."

Well of course this would happen. I turned around to face a slightly blushing Nick, a laughing Joe, and a smirking Kevin. I stood there gaping, wishing the floor would sallow me up.

Thank god Miley spoke up. It's good to know that I can always rely on her to save me from myself. "Hey guys! This is my friend Lola. Don't mind her if she say something weird. I think she may have ADD."

Or not. Thanks a lot Miley.

Joe shot me a smile and I basically died. "Hey Lola. I'm Joe. And this is my brother Nick. I don't know if you've heard, but he's a studmuffin."

Oh haha. That's just great. Perfect really. Isn't it every girl's dream to be mocked by Joe Jonas? Yeah. I didn't think so.

"And I'm Kevin. I'm not really sure why I'm in the band, but I guess it works for me."

Yeppp. I got mocked by TWO Jonas Brothers within five minutes. I probably should get an award. Most Likely To Insult Famous People And Then Get It Thrown Back In Their Face. Or MLTIFPATGITBITF for short. I like it. It's catchy.

Anyway, after the god that is Kevin Jonas spoke, I looked to him, expecting to see him frowning. Because really, I'd hate me too. But I was met with just about the most perfect smile ever. If Joe caused me to die, Kevin killed me, resurrected me and then gave me a million dollar shopping spree. I needed to think of something witty/funny/intelligent to say. I needed to redeem myself.

"Eeeep!"

That's right. That was my brilliant statement. Can someone just put me out of my misery now? Please.

Everyone started staring at me. Miley looked like she was holding back a laugh but the Jonas Brothers looked like they wanted to back away slowly.

"Um… I mean… Hey guys. I'm Lola. It is truly wonderful to meet you. Absolutely spiffy actually."

English accent. I started talking with an ENGLISH ACCENT. Because obviously God doesn't think I've suffered enough in my lifetime. And the fact that He hates me probably has something to do with it. So to prove that I wasn't crazy, I tried talking for a third time.

"So… what are you guys doing later?"

Yessss! Score one for Lilly. I actually said something normal. And by this time, we were all heading to the exit. And by time I spoke, Joe and Nick were ahead of me talking to Miley. So Kevin was the only one who heard me.

"Well, we're in Malibu for a few weeks for vacation. It would be really cool if we all hung out. Here, lets exchange phones and then we can set something up."

And that, Diary, is how Kevin Jonas added his number to my phone. Again I could barely speak.

"Yeah that would be awesome! We could hang out at the beach or skateboard or something. Fantastilistic!"

Oh dear lord. I said a Jonas quote to a Jonas boy. That is number one on the list of Things Not To Do When Talking To A Jonas Brother (TNTDWTTAJB). Kevin started to laugh.

"You know Lola, you sure are something different."

I'm pretty positive I blushed bright red, which with my green wig, made me look like a Christmas tree. I was so embarrassed that I looked up at the ceiling and tried to calm down. Which would explain why I wasn't looking at the exit and missed the flight of stairs. And, in front of everyone, fell down those said stairs and landed on my face.

Are you there God? It's me Lilly. Can you give me a break just once?

Lilly

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So I forgot to mention this story is inspired by Broken Oken and her fic "Dear Stupid". Which is like 100x funnier and better than mine. So go read hers. It's awesome.


	3. Sidekicks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

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Dear Diary,

I bet you thought that once I fell down the stairs in front of the Jonas Brothers, (plus the fact that I have Kevin's cell number) my life turned magically happily ever after and Kevin and I rode off in the sunset and I never made a fool of myself again.

False. So so so false. If anything, I have three new people to show how much of a spaz I am. And is it really my fault? I mean, I don't think I can blame myself for everything that has happened to me. I have come to the conclusion that I have The Curse Of The Sidekicks. Because that's what I am. A sidekick. And for the most part I'm ok with that. I get to meet famous people, go to awesome parties, eat good food, and just generally have a rockin time.

Downside: making a fool of myself in front of famous people, at the awesome parties, and just in general too.

Wait. You don't know what The Curse Of The Sidekicks is? Well, basically if you are a sidekick like me and Oliver, you will always do something stupid in front if an important person. And you'll be in the shadow of the not sidekick. A.K.A Miley/Hannah Montana. And sometimes it kinda sucks.

Whoa. Went a little heavy on the angst didn't I? Sorry. I really don't mind being a sidekick. It can be fun!! : D. (does it look like I'm happy now?)

But I know you just want to hear about Kevin. And Joe and Nick too I guess. But I mostly want to talk about Kevin. SQUEEE! You'd think that after my outburst I had right before we met, he'd be running the other direction. But I think he might pity me because after I fell down The Staircase of Doom, he ran down to help me. Miley, Nick, and Joe just laughed. That's me. An endless source of amusement to everyone I meet. Anyways, after I fell, Kevin was extremely concerned about my well-being. It was pretty sweet. He looked pretty shocked. I guess he's not use to seeing people spaz out like I had that night. And since my so-called best friend wasn't in a hurry to see if I was ok and wasn't about to die from a head injury or anything like that, I guess he thought it was his duty to be concerned about me.

And I certainly wasn't about to complain. Sometimes I wonder of Miley knows exactly what she's doing when she abandons me.

"Lola! Wow, are you ok? You went down pretty hard! Do you need something, like Advil or water or maybe a brain scan? I'm sure we can get you to the hospital. Do you have medical insurance? If not, I'm sure we can say you're a cousin and you can just use ours. Oh my god, you're not talking! Lola! Joe, Nick. Quick! Help me lift her up. She's not responding! If she dies, it'll be our fault. Hannah! Call someone! I can't focus! What's the number you call when you have an emergency? 411? SOMEONE CALL 411!"

He's kinda a spaz too. Maybe we have more in common than I thought. I figured I should help him out since after his outburst, Joe, Nick, and Miley were just staring at him in shock.

"Um… Kevin? I think I'm ok. I can talk and blink. And look, I'm pretty sure I can walk."

I stood up and made my way over to the exit. Kevin still looked a little shell-shocked. I walked back over to him and helped him up. It was my turn to comfort him.

"Hey. Breathe. Your first spaz-out is a little rough, trust me, but it'll get easier and soon it won't even faze you."

As I talked, Kevin became more and more relaxed. Joe, Nick, and Miley made their way over to us. I'm sure they were ready to shower me and Kevin with attention and sympathy, since I fell down The Staircase of Doom and Kevin basically lost his mind.

"Hey Nick, I think Kevin's finally found someone who is crazy as he is."

"Yeah, I think you're right Joe. And the good news is that we'll always have something to laugh at when there's nothing good on T.V. What do you think Hannah?"

"Oh definitely. I always wondered of Lola could find someone who could handle her, and I think she's met her match in Kevin."

Or I could be totally wrong and they came over to mock us. Thanks guys. I really enjoy hanging out with such kind, considerate people.

And just when I thought I couldn't get anymore embarrassed, I was once again proved wrong.

I started walking to the exit when the door swung open and hit me in the face. I fell on to the floor with stars in my eyes. And just before I passed out, I saw the one thing that could embarrass me more than anything else tonight.

"Yo yo yo! What up homeskilletz? Mike Stanley III is in the hiz-ouez!"

Things can only get worse.

Lilly

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Sorry this update has taken awhile. It's finals week this week and although I didn't study once, I had to pretend to so my parents wouldn't get mad. :) Plus, I saw Narnia on Saturday and since there were three hot guys in it, I was a little distracted haha!


	4. ARRRRgyle

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

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Dear Diary,

So when I last wrote down my embarrassing memoirs, I left off when public enemy number one (AKA Oliver) showed up at the arena and knocked me unconscious. And so, after waiting the eight or so hours one needs to not sleep after a suspected concussion, I have come back. And I bet, Diary, you sat here wondering what happened after HE showed up. You probably assumed that the Jonas Brothers rushed to my side. That Kevin had a spazz attack over me again and took me to the hospital. Or that Miley cried over my body and Oliver was so upset that he promised me ANYTHING if I would just wake up, please.

Well of course that wouldn't happen. I mean honestly, people can only take so much drama before they just ignore you. So when I woke up, I wasn't that surprised to see the Jonas Brothers laughing at something Oliver had said while Miley sat next to me reading a magazine. Psh. She could have at least held my hand. No one noticed when I came to. I sat up and looked around, wincing at the bright lights.

"Oooo Lilly look at these shoes! Oh crap! Lilly! You're awake. Good. Hey guys, Lola's awake."

Oh my gosh, they did care about me! People were concerned! Then Joe spoke.

"Thank God for that. Now we can leave. Finally! You've been napping for the last hour!"

Then Oliver opened his big dumb mouth to say his two cents which I most definitely did not want to hear.

"Gosh Lola. How can you be so inconsiderate to these fine fellows? They wanted to go home but being the gallant gentlemen they are, decided to stay to make sure you were all right. The least you could have done was wake up sooner. That is so wika-wika-wack."

Oho that was it! I launched myself at Oliver managing to jump on his back. I put my hands around his neck and started wringing. I lost it.

"Me be inconsiderate? That's rich coming from the guy who knocked me UNCONSCIOUS! How about you apologize to me pretty boy? I ought to kill you, you insensitive jerk. And you know what? Your mustache is ugly. And it repels women. I can't even handle how ridiculous you are. Don't talk to me for the next hour. Actually, don't look at me either. Don't even THINK about me. Got it?"

I jumped off his back and looked at him.

He was staring at the ground, shaking slightly, obviously terrified. My work there was done. I nodded, satisfied, when I heard a cough. Oh crap, witnesses. I turned to face a mad Miley and freaked out Jonai (the plural form of Jonas. Isn't that the best? I read it in a magazine. People can be so creative. Oh, um what was I talking about?)

"Oh Lola, you are just too funny. Death threats are such a good joke."

Shoot. Miley is maddd. This is also slightly awkward. Time for some damage control. I turned to the Jonai (hahahaha).

"Yeah I love to make jokes. Especially to Mike here, who, strange as it seems, is my best friend. I also like making jokes to other people. Like... What is a pirate's favorite style of sweater? ARRRR-gyle. Hahaha?"

Joe looked at me for a second before sarcastically cracking up.

"ARRRR-gyle. That's hilarious! Lola you are so weird! Come on guys, let's get out of here before we catch the crazy!"

And with that, Nick and Joe walked out the door with Miley following talking about how I mean well but get nervous. Shoot. I totally blew it. I turned to Oliver to give him permission to talk to me again when someone tapped my shoulder. I spun around to face Kevin, who was sort of looking at the ground and semi-shuffling his feet. And my heart melted. And then I liked him even more. Because how many guys shuffle their feet when they talk to you? Not a lot I'd venture to say. Goodness, he is too cute for his own good.

"Listen, sorry about Joe. He wasn't trying to insult you. He just gets intimidated by pretty girls who are funnier than him"

Oh my... Kevin Jonas called me pretty. And funny! My life cannot possibly get better. He continued to talk while I went into a compliment-induced daze.

"Um... So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab dinner sometime. I would really like to get to know you and I think being away from my brothers and Hannah would be good. What do you say?"

What do I say? How bout yes? I was thrilled. Unfortunately, my mouth and brain weren't working so I just stood there gaping like an idiot. After 3 minutes, Kevin looked down and started to walk away. I heard him mumble as he left. He kept saying idiot and stupid over and over again. I started to panic. I needed to talk to him and I was losing my chance. Oliver looked at the situation, slightly startled. He was going to save the day I could tell. He was going to talk to Kevin because I have obviously become a mute and will never talk again most likely.

Or maybe Oliver would walk in front of me, stare for a few seconds, and then smack me in the face. I gasped in pain and the words stated flowing.

"Wait! Yes I would love to go out to dinner, I just panicked a little but don't worry and I also possibly became mute but that was temporary because I'm talking now but it's really more like rambling if you want to get technical so you should probably just call me later to work out details because to be honest I think I'm going to pass out right now so call me?"

Kevin smiled at me. He walked to the door, talking over his shoulder.

"Will do Lola. You sure are something else."

And with those words he left. I just stood there for a moment before sinking to the floor. Oliver joined me. And because we have been best friends since kindergarten it didn't surprise me that we spoke at the same time.

"Whoa"

Lilly

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Oh my gosh I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update! Finals week was crazy and then I went back three days later for summer school so I won't have to take government during the year. That means, however, I have to sit through 8 hours of class for 9 days. :( But starting next week it's summer! So more updates! And now I'm rambling and I'm starting to feel like Lilly so I'm just going to stop now.


	5. Destiny

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

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Dear Diary,

It is currently Friday night, 3 days after the concert/concussion/spaz fiasco. And right now, I am hiding in the Malibu Zoo bathroom. Hiding from what, you may ask? Birds... And Kevin Jonas. But mostly birds.

I may have to start from the beginning on this one.

It was Wednesday afternoon and Miley and I were hanging at the beach. As Miley entered her 6th minute in the Nick Is A God speech, my phone vibrated. I looked down at the screen and it was Kevin! I jumped up and screamed. Miley looked a little miffed that I interrupted at the point in the speech where she describes how classy he looks but not in a gay way (our favorite part in the speech. Hers because she loves a well-dressed man and mine because if we are going to be perfectly honest here, he does look a little gay sometimes), but soon got over it when I showed her who it was from. I winced a little when she shrieked.

"Go on girl! Read it! This is your destiny waiting for you in that message. Your whole life can be changing in 30 seconds. OPEN THE DAMN MESSAGE!"

I told her to relax and we both turned to the phone. I opened it up, with trembling fingers. I took a few deep breaths and slowly clicked the open message button. I didn't even realize my eyes were shut until I expected to see a message but it was dark. I opened my eyes, and with Miley hyperventilating, looked down to my awaiting destiny.

"Hey"

Well, that was pretty anticlimactic. Miley groaned and fell back into the sand. I just laughed and replied with a "hey" back. Within seconds, I got another message. At this point, I wasn't expecting much, so I just flipped it open. And the message I got changed my life. Well, not really. But pretty close.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime. I have a pretty good idea for this Friday. Are you available?"

I fell into the sand and passed the phone to Miley. She read it, screamed, and immediately began typing. Within a minute, she turned to me.

"OK, so you have a date with Kevin on Friday. He's picking you up here at 6. Remember, you'll be Lola so try not to act like Lilly too much."

I nodded in a daze. And that's really all I remember from the last few days. Next thing I know, I'm on the beach, dressed as Lola when Kevin drives up and gets out of the car. And he looked good. For the first time ever, he wasn't dressed like some old British lord. He looked casual, wearing regular fitting jeans and a polo shirt. How did he know I had a thing for semi-preppy boys? And of course I was wearing a Lola outfit, which consisted of pink leggings, a lime green mini-skirt, a white shirt, and purple hair.

Yeah I looked good.

Anyway, I was so distracted by Kevin's devilishly good looks, I completely missed his entire speech of what we were going to be doing. So as I began to focus on his words and not his body, I noticed he was looking at me expectantly. He needed an answer to a question. Which I unfortunately did not hear.

"Umm… yes?"

"Great! I'm so glad! OK, let's get going then. We have some exciting stuff awaiting us!"

He looked so adorablely excited, I couldn't bear the thought of telling him I wasn't paying attention. I decided to just go with it and got in the car. The ride to wherever we were going was awkward. And that needed to end. So I did the only thing I could do in a situation like that.

"Awkward moose!" With the hand motions and everything. One hand going up and one hand going down next to my head. One antler up and one antler down. Yes, the awkward moose, for times when awkward turtle just isn't good enough.

Kevin looked at me like I was crazy and I didn't want to explain because that would ruin everything so I just sat there, silent. The date was off to a horrible start and Miley and Oliver weren't there to save me from myself. I almost cried in relief when the car stopped and Kevin got out to open the door for me. I was so distracted by his chivalrous move I didn't even notice where we were until we walked through the gate. Malibu Zoo. I hadn't been there in years. What were we doing here?

Kevin started talking about how he was reading in the paper about some new exhibit that was here this month and how excited he was that I wanted to go too. So this new exhibit was what I agreed to. I figured I could handle it. How bad could it be?

He opened the door to the exhibit and motioned for me to go inside. When I walked in, I lost my breath and my heart skipped a beat. Luckily, I regained my pulse and my breath, which made it much easier to scream bloody murder.

"AHHHHHHHH!! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. I'M GONNA DIE!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!"

How did he know that birds were my greatest irrational fear? Was this some sort of sick joke? How could this happen? I've never gotten too close to birds if I could help it, and here I was in some sort of twisted natural bird habitat.

"Lola?" He sounded concerned. Good. He brought me to my worst nightmare. He better feel bad. "What's wrong? You said yes to this. What happened?"

This is what I said yes to? Curse Kevin's good looks that made me agree to this. I turned to him and was about to explain that I should probably get out of there when the unspeakable happened. A bird landed on my head. I burst into tears, started screaming again and ran out the door. I found the nearest women's restroom and locked myself in a stall. That was about five minutes ago. And now you're all caught up. I just had the worst date of my life. And it only lasted all of one hour! Score one for Lilly! God, why did I freak out like that? I jus-

Oh my god I think I had a heart attack. Kevin just knocked on the stall door and I started screaming again.

"OH MY GOD! BIRDS!! Get away! I swear I don't have any birdseed. Please don't peck me to death. I swear I'll do anything. Please leave me alone."

"Um, Lola? It's Kevin. Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were afraid of birds. And you said yes, so I don't really understand."

"I had no idea what you were talking about. I was distracted by your good looks and wasn't paying attention. I just said yes."

"My good looks distracted you?" He started to laugh. Jesus, I can't believe I just said that. God, he's talking again and I'm not paying attention again because I'm writing down everything that's happened in the last minute. Give me one second.

OK, Kevin said that if I still wanted to, we could go to the dinner part of this god-forsaken date. Not exactly in his words, but still. I agreed and now he's giving me a few minutes to calm down. So although I had a brush with death (God I hate birds), hopefully dinner will salvage this nightmare. I really want this to go well. Oh, he's knocking on the door. I better go. I'll write down the rest of this date later. Wish me luck!

Lilly

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Hey guys! Summer school is over and I have the rest of this story outlined so that means faster updates! Thanks to everyone who's reading this story. And after this story, I think I'll be going back to Hannah Montana cannon and Camp Rock fics for the JoBros. So look out!


	6. More Birds?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

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Dear Diary,

Have you ever experienced a total and complete disaster but managed to survive it, try again, and have it be another fiasco, but then it works out in the end? Yeah I didn't think that was normal either. But that was basically how my date went.

So after calming down in the bathroom, which required several deep breathing exercises and reapplication of the makeup, I went outside to look for Kevin. And he wasn't there. Of course that almost set me off again. So I looked like a complete crazy, turning around in circles, switching off from muttering under my breath: "He left, he left, oh my god he left" and calling out: "Kevin, Kevin?" Once people started staring after about 5 minutes, I came to the only logical reason why Kevin wasn't there.

The birds ate him.

So after figuring it out, I almost burst into tears again. Side note: I was crying ALOT during that date. It was slightly troubling. It briefly occurred to me I should probably get looked at.

Anyway, so I managed to fall to a bench and started hyperventilating. Kevin Jonas was dead and I was stuck at the zoo with his murderers. And then I realized the birds were probably coming for me too. As I discovered the bird's horrifying plot, I thought of ways to escape, while at the same time, kept my eyes open in case they tried to sneak up on me.

So it is totally understandable that when a hand grabbed my shoulder, I screamed and turned around and punched the would-be murderer in the face. Right?

Too late I realized it was Kevin and that I just punched a JONAS BROTHER. Remember that list, Things Not To Do When Talking To A Jonas Brother? Yeah, punching one of them is definitely number two.

Awk-ward.

I looked helplessly as he rolled around on the ground, swearing under his breath. Oops. I came to my senses and rushed to his side.

"I am soooo sorry Kevin! I didn't mean to. I thought you were a bird!"

He stopped swearing to look up at me, confused and slightly interested.

"You thought I was a bird?"

Oh great. Explanation time.

"Yeah. See I came out if the bathroom and you weren't there so logically the birds ate you and that meant they were coming for me because I'm your girlfriend and then I was thinking of ways to escape and worrying that the birds were going to do a sneak attack and then you scared me and it was a reflex."

After that speech, I realized I made the biggest mistake of my life. I most definitely called myself Kevin Jonas's-

"Girlfriend? Um, Lola don't you think you're moving a bit fast? I realize that I'm good-looking and everything, but I haven't even taken you to dinner yet."

I had my eyes closed during his sentences, so I thought he was serious. I didn't blame him for shooting me down. I would have turned in the other direction and booked it. It wasn't until he grabbed my hand that I opened my eyes and saw him smiling.

"C'mon. Let's go eat." And with that, he led me to his car (still holding my hand, might I add) and drove us to the next surprise. He made me cover my eyes when we got close and got me out of the car. I think he gave the car to a valet, which meant we were somewhere fancy. He led me up to the doors and uncovered my eyes with a big "TA-DA!"

When I looked at the doors, I saw some French name that I couldn't read, let alone say. Um, yum? I hate French food, but I figured that he went to all this trouble and I just needed to suck it up. I put on a huge fake smile and walked inside.

The first thing I noticed was that it was really crowded. The second thing I noticed was that Kevin and I were really underdressed. Great. So much for blending in. I think Kevin realized the same thing because he started to look uncomfortable and did that little cough thing people do when they're embarrassed. He walked up to the hostess and gave his name. Within 2 minutes, we were sitting down across from each other, in a semi-secluded area of the restaurant. We just stared at each other as the waiter came with water, bread, and menus.

The silence was unnerving. All I could think was thank god looking at the menus gave us something to do. But after about ten minutes, I still had no idea what to eat. I put the menu down to find Kevin staring at me. He turned bright red, which I thought was adorable and tried to think of something to say. The voice inside my head, which sounds a lot like Miley, told me to ask some questions.

"So…what made you decide to take us here?" Good Lilly. That was a normal question. I think I'm becoming normaler!

"Well I read that you're a jetsetter and Paris was your favorite city, so I figured you love French food." For some reason he was blushing again and then I thought about what he said.

"You read it somewhere?" What did he mean? I've never said Paris was my favorite city. I've never been there and I've already established that I hate French food.

"Oh. Um, you know. I was just surfing the net one day and came across google. So I did some typing and found yourwebsitessoireadallaboutyoutofindoutwhatyoulike. Wait! Um, Hannah told me?"

I had a website? That's weird. Miley probably did it. But I can worry about that later. I have more pressing issues at hand. The time to be delicate had passed. I needed be blunt.

"Do you like French food? Because I HATE it. And although I really love that you took me here, I'm really uncomfortable." There. I said it. And he can hate me but I needed to get out of there.

"Oh thank god! I hate French food too. I know this really good hot dog place around here. Let's just go!"

He threw a 5 down on the table and grabbed my hand again. We practically ran out the door and luckily his car was still outside the restaurant. Valet must have been busy. He grabbed the keys and we sped off, in search of hot dogs.

We ate in his car and talked about basically everything. Well, as much as you can when you have a secret identity. I think, sooner or later, I'll have to tell him the truth. But not now.

Eventually he drove me to my house (yet another reason to tell him, all he has to do is look up my address and see that it's Truscott) and walked me up the front steps. All in all, the date was a nightmare and I figured he would never want to see me again. I took a deep breath to tell him I understood that he hated me when the unthinkable happened.

He kissed me.

There I was, completely frozen, with Kevin Jonas's lips on mine. I almost passed out, but I gave myself a little shake and kissed him back. After we both needed to breathe, we pulled apart. I was so confused.

"Wha-?"

"Listen Lola, I really like you. And although this was quite possibly the worst date I have ever been on, I had more fun than I've had in a really long time. And I know this is kinda sudden, but I am rather good-looking and since those birds want to kill you because they thought you were my girlfriend, why not make it official?"

He waited for my answer, just smiling away, while I stood there, totally lost.

Kevin Jonas, even after the date from hell, wanted to be my boyfriend? I did the only thing I could do in that situation.

I kissed him back.

After a few minutes, he pulled back and smiled at me.

"I have to go, but I'll call you, ok?"

I could only nod. With one last kiss, he walked down the steps and got in his car. He drove off, waving at me, while I just stood there. Once he was out of sight, I broke down and started doing a happy dance. I stopped when my front door opened and Miley and Oliver walked out.

"You have a lot of explaining to do Lola."

So now I'm going to go explain how I became the girlfriend of Kevin Jonas.

Lilly

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Aha, you think it's over don't you? Well it's not. I have about 4 or 5 more chapters to go. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. It makes me so happy when I check my mail and I see I have a bunch of reviews!


	7. Truth

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

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Dear Diary,

You know, life can be good for only so long before that plane ride of happiness you're on comes crashing down in a fiery blaze and plunges into the ocean and since you're the only person on the plane, you're kinda just swimming around in the ocean for a few days until a shark comes and eats half of you and after that you get really thirsty but you can't drink because it's the ocean and then when you're finally dead the rescue party shows up and they're all like, "Oh well, she was too happy. So she pretty much deserved it. Want to grab a smoothie?"

Or something like that. I'm not really sure what I'm talking about. Writing about. Thinking about. Whatever. My thoughts have gotten me into a lot of trouble lately. Or maybe it's the fact that me and my best friend are liars and come up with ridiculous schemes that are destined to fail.

I've noticed that I'm being extremely vague and I suppose I should buckle down and talk about my problems. That is the reason Miley gave me you, after all. OK. I can do it. I can tell you how my life has become awful. And I know what you're thinking! Wait! Lilly just told me that she was the girlfriend of Kevin Jonas. How can her life be miserable?

Answer. Diary, you are extremely out of touch. It's been about two months since I last wrote to you because while I was dating Kevin I was NORMAL. I didn't embarrass myself or other people and I was happy. So now, you must be asking yourself what happened?

Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana happened.

About two weeks after Kevin and I started going out, Miley and Nick stopped their lame tap dance of uncertainty on the edge of dating and made it official. So we were the power couples. Best friends dating brothers? What could possibly be better? Nothing. Except for the fact that Miley and Lilly basically disappeared because we always had to be Hannah and Lola. And the Jonas boys aren't idiots. They started to get suspicious of why we never hung out at our houses or why we would just be gone Monday through Friday.

Three days ago, Miley, the mastermind of all plans, decided that we needed to tell the boys her secret for the sake of her and Nick's relationship. Oh, and me and Kevin of course. She had it all planned out. We'd go to Miley's house for dinner, feed them silly, and then hit them with the stick of truth. I was a little skeptical about this "brilliant" plan.

It was basically destined to fail really. So, tonight, the night of Operation: Food Makes Boys Happy So If We Feed Them Then They Couldn't Be That Angry Because They'll Still Be Happy We Fed Them, I was a little worried. I followed "Hannah" as she made sure the food looked good.

"Miley, why would feeding them make them any less angry? Maybe we should just not tell them ever."

She threw me a dirty look over her shoulder and turned around, heading to the kitchen.

"Lilly, trust me. I have 100 faith in O:FMBHSIWFTTTCCBTABTSBHWFT. But, we probably could have picked an easier name for this. That is the last time we let Oliver come up with our mission names!"

How could she be so calm? We were about to tell our boyfriends, and Joe, that we were liars and nothing who they thought we were! This wasn't the time for jokes. This was the time for an epic mental breakdown. Miley sensed this and right before I exploded, and I swear by some voodoo magic, the doorbell rang and she flew to the door. Before she opened it she turned to me.

"Listen girl. You need to CALM DOWN. It is crucial that we feed them before we tell them anything. So just pretend everything is fine for at least an hour. Can you do that?"

Well. I was slightly offended she thought I couldn't remain calm. I just nodded once. She didn't deserve a response. Psh. How hard could remaining calm be?

Kevin came in and kissed me on the cheek. "Hey, sweetie."

OK, all I had to do was remain calm. I totally got this.

"HEY! IT"S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! BOY, I'M HUNGRY. YOU HUNGRY? LET'S EAT!"

Oh. My. God. Kevin, Joe, and Nick were just staring at me and Miley was behind them, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits and mouthing, "I will kill you". Alright, I'll admit it. I might have had a slight problem with being calm. But I think death threats were hardly necessary. Kevin took and hand and went into "concerned boyfriend" mode.

"Lola, are you ok? You haven't been like this since we first met. What's wrong?"

And I couldn't even respond because my insides were too busy melting over how cute he was when he was worried. So I just stared at him and Miley took the liberty to answer him.

"Oh, Lola's fine. She's just a bit hungry. We haven't eaten all day. So let's eat!"

We sat down at the table and begin the dinner from hell. I refused to talk, just in case I let something slip and Miley was being extra loud to cover it up. Nick and Joe went with it but Kevin kept staring at me. Those brown eyes were so unnerving I couldn't even look at them. I kept my eyes focused on my plate until dessert. After the apple pie, I finally looked around at everyone. I thought I was doing a pretty good job at remaining calm until Joe spoke.

"Hey Lola, I didn't know you had an eye twitch. Does that happen often?"

God, I suck at trying to be normal. I just looked at Miley and she seemed to understand. She cleared her throat and everyone turned to look at her.

"Actually guys, Lola is a bit nervous. We have something to say."

She hesitated at this and for one crazy, hopeful second, I thought she wasn't going to go through with it. But then Nick grabbed her hand and she seemed to collect herself. She took a huge breath and dropped the bomb.

"OK, well here it goes. Although I'm Hannah Montana right now, I'm not like this always. My name is Miley Stewart and I'm a sophomore at Seaview High School."

She took off her wig and undid all the bobby pins. By that time, Nick had let go of her hand and was staring at her in shock and awe. She shook out her brown hair and paused. She turned to me and nodded. When I started to speak, my voice shook.

"And since Hannah needed a best friend, I became Lola. But, um, my name is Lilly Truscott."

I took off my pink wig and undid my bobby pins. With my eyes closed, I let my blond hair fall around my shoulders. I kept my eyes shut through almost half of Miley's story. When she got to the part about me finding out about her, I finally opened my eyes. Nick had grabbed Miley's hand again and was looking at her like he couldn't quite believe she was real. Joe had a hand covering his lower face but it was obvious he thought it was hilarious. And then I looked at Kevin and was startled to see his eyes looking straight at mine. And that's when I knew this plan was a disaster.

Diary, he looked at me like I was worthless. He looked so confused and sad and angry and hurt and worst of all, disappointed. Disappointed that I didn't tell him before. Or maybe because I wasn't Lola, but some regular girl who tricked him. Amber and Ashley had nothing on Kevin Jonas in making me feel bad about myself. I forced myself to look at Miley, who was just about done with her story.

"And so, we figured if we fed you, you guys wouldn't be so mad at us!"

She looked around at them hopefully, her grin faltering as she saw Kevin, but returning when Nick pulled her up and hugged her. She sighed into his shoulder.

"So you don't hate me?"

He pushed her gently back, looked into her eyes and grinned.

"As long as Miley Stewart doesn't have a boyfriend, I don't care what Hannah Montana does on her off days."

They stood there hugging until Joe spoke up. I was actually a little surprised he hadn't said anything yet.

"Dude! This is sweet. You're like a superhero. Except you don't save lives, but minor detail. You should totally have a T.V. show or something about this. Why didn't we think of this? My name could have been Danger. That's it, but it would be all I need. Nick could have been called The Stud. And Kevin would perform under the name Voltron."

Nick and Miley looked at Joe confused.

"Why would he call himself Voltron?"

Joe looked at Nick like he was an idiot.

"I don't know. Maybe because it's super badass."

Nick and Miley just started to laugh and in that moment, I knew that they were fine. Nick was going to stick with Miley. Probably break up with Hannah, wait a few weeks and then go out in public with Miley. And I wish I could say I was happy for them, because I am. But at that moment, I hated Miley Stewart for doing this to me.

Nick and Miley were in a corner talking quietly and Joe was sitting on the couch, totally unfazed, watching T.V. I think he was happy because he was full. So maybe Miley was right. When you need to tell a boy bad news, just feed him until he doesn't care about problems because he isn't hungry. I turned to face Kevin again when I noticed he was gone. I looked around and found him over by the window. I knew it was now or never and walked over to him. We stood next to each other, looking out on the ocean, for a few seconds before I opened my mouth to speak.

"Look Kevin, I know you're angry bu-"

Before I had finished the word, Kevin had turned his back to me and strode purposefully towards the front door. Without hesitating, he opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind him. I was left standing there, with my mouth still opened to o. Nick, Miley, and Joe all stared at me and I couldn't take the pity. I looked at Miley and she nodded, understanding. I knew she knew where to find me. So I took off. I ran to the only place that can calm me down. And I know you think you know where I'd end up. The beach or maybe the swing set at the local park perhaps? Haha that would be so obvious. So no, I didn't end up at the beach or the park or the roof of my house.

Yes, you will currently find me sitting on the bench in front of a music store two blocks from my house. Random, I know, but it's fun to people watch and just sit and listen to the music coming from inside the store. Plus, sometimes they have a really good sale and you can get Cd's for really cheap. It's a win-win situation.

Anyway, it's late and dark and no one's around. But that's OK, because I think I need to be alone. After this horrible night, I'm not sure what's going to happen. I don't know if Kevin will ever talk to me again. I'm also a little mad that he didn't listen to me. My emotions are all haywire and I'm so confused. I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm not even really sure what I'm writing anymore.

And I think someone's coming. I hear footsteps and I see a shape coming closer. It could be Miley or Kevin or some random stranger/murderer.

And Diary, I'm not quite sure who I hope it is.

Lilly

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Um hey guys. So basically I fail at life. I am so sorry I haven't updated in such a long time! I got my wisdom teeth out two weeks ago and I think that when they pulled my teeth out, they took my inspiration out with it. So this took me forever and it's not all that great and really not funny but it's what needed to happen. The next couple of chapters should be alot more funny. Thanks for reading!


	8. Tears

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

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Dear Diary,

Boys are stupid. Do they have some sort of gene that makes them ridiculous? I didn't pay attention in biology during the section on DNA so I must have missed the description of the jerk gene they seem to posses. Seriously, who do boys think they are? In my 16 years of existence, I have never been so flabbergasted by boys as I have been tonight.

And when I say tonight, yes, we are still in the same night that I lost Kevin as my boyfriend. I left off in my chronicles with the arrival of a mysterious shadow emerging from the dark. I figured it would either be Miley, a murderer and/or rapist, or worst, Kevin. So imagine my surprise when John Walker showed up.

Random, I know. Remember him? He's the reason I write in you Diary. However, after I met Kevin I stopped liking him and haven't really even thought about him. He and his girlfriend were the school golden couple and it was slightly surprising seeing him by himself, in front of a record store, on a Friday night. And it was even more surprising when he started talking to me.

"Lilly, right? Hey, what's up? Whoa are you OK? Why are you crying?"

I was still shocked he knew my name, so it took a few minutes to register what he said. Tears? Oh my god, I was crying. Curse Kevin Jonas. I have never cried over a boy EVER and here he turned me into a pathetic, crying mess. I tried to calm down enough to answer John.

"Aughhhhhhhhhh!"

After that intelligent response, John sat down next to me and gingerly put his arm around my shoulder. At this unexpected sign of, well, niceness, I leaned into him and sobbed. I cried for Miley and Nick, because they were happy with each other. I cried for Oliver, because he's my best friend but I've barely talked to him in the past two months and as a result, he wasn't here for me now. I cried for Joe, because he truly didn't care we lied. I cried for John, because even though he barely knew me, he let me cry on his shoulder. I cried for Kevin, because he's a big, dumb jerk who didn't even give me the chance to explain. But mostly, I cried for myself. Because my heart was breaking over a boy who didn't like me for what I truly was.

I eventually calmed down enough to explain to John why I was using him as a human tissue.

"I'm sorry. I know we don't really know each other. It's just… I mean, I'm sorry. I should probably go. You don't want to hear my problems. This is sort of embarrassing. I didn't think anyone would be out tonight. What are you doing here anyway? Can we just forget about it?"

I really didn't want him to laugh. I tried to move away, but his grip around my shoulder remained firm.

"Lilly, relax. You are obviously upset. And since you just cried all over me, I figured you could use someone to talk to. I promise I won't tell anyone. I just want to listen. I swear. Maddie and I just broke up, so I took a walk to clear my head. But right now, your issues are more important than mine."

Wow. This kid has been surprising me all night. With that prompt, I started telling him my story, leaving out names and specific events.

"Well, it's just I'm afraid the guy I like doesn't like me back. I don't think he likes the real me, you know? Anyway, I'm too afraid to talk to him and I really have no idea how he feels. I mean I totally don't blame him if he doesn't like me, but it would still hurt to be rejected if I asked him. I know it's silly to cry over a boy, but here I am. And here you are. Thank you for letting me cry all over you."

As I was speaking, John gained a look of understanding that slightly confused me. I didn't understand why he was looking at me like that. He leaned in close and started to whisper in my ear. His voice was soft, low, and husky.

"Don't worry about this guy Lilly. I'm pretty positive he likes you too."

And then he kissed me. Or attacked me if you want to get technical. He moved his lips against mine, trying to get a response. Which was going to be hard, considering I was going into cardiac arrest. What the hell was this? John Walker, the most popular guy in school, who's known me for all of ten minutes, is kissing me. And that would be fantastic if I still liked him. Now it's just creepy. I managed to put my hands on his shoulders and push him away. He looked at me confused. I looked at him confused. There was a lot of confusion going on. OK I needed to politely ask what just happened.

"What the hell was that?!"

But, unfortunately, politeness is not my strong point. John turned from confused to angry.

"What do you mean? I just kissed you. You're welcome."

Oh the nerve of this guy. Why did I ever like him again?

"Yeah, I got that you just kissed me. Why would you do that?"

He looked confused again.

"Well, because you were too afraid to ask how I felt."

"I wasn't talking about you, you egotistical jerk! I'm talking about another guy."

John got angry again. I swear, this kid changes moods faster than a bipolar person who forgot to take their medication.

"What the hell. I thought you liked me. You shouted it out at lunch that one time. I assumed I was the guy you were talking about."

"That was two months ago! You had a girlfriend. I moved on. I think I need to go. This is ridiculous."

I stood up and started to walk away when John spoke.

"So wait. You don't like me and you are walking away from the chance to date me? You are one crazy bitch Lilly Truscott."

Oh my god. I needed to get out of there before I murdered the kid. I stomped off, muttering under my breath, not really paying attention to where I was going.

"Lilly?"

"WHAT?! Who wants to attack me now? My boyfriend just dumped me and I'm a little pissed right now. Just leave me alone please."

My angry shout dropped down to a pathetic whisper. I looked around and saw Nick and Joe just staring at me. Joe spoke up.

"So that spaz thing wasn't just an act? You really are this crazy in real life?"

Nick looked horrified and elbowed Joe. I chose to ignore his statements. He's welcome.

"Whatever. Have you guys seen Kevin? I think we need to talk about everything."

Joe and Nick looked around, obviously hiding something. They finally looked at each other and did some weird brother thing where they talked to each other with their eyes. Nick turned to me.

"Um yeah, he just called us. We're walking home because he took the car. He, um, needed to, um, pick up something for my mom."

And I probably would have believed him if it wasn't for the fact that Joe gave me an excuse at the exact same time.

"He needed to drive to L.A. because Frankie needed a Webkinz that only is in this one store so my dad made him go."

Joe looked proud of himself. Nick looked at him like he was going to kill him. He turned back to me, smiling weakly. He did that fake cough people do in awkward situations. I really was not in the mood.

"Fine. I don't care. Will you just let him know that I'm sorry? That I had no intention of hurting him? That it was still me on the inside; I was just wearing a wig? Tell me to call me. Please."

Nick gave me a sympathetic look. He seemed to realize how upset I was.

"Sure Lilly. I'll let him know. Just, hold on OK? Things will get better. I promise."

He pulled me into a hug. The moment was ruined when Joe opened his mouth.

"Lillykins, you need to take a breath." He started to sing, "Don't forget to take a breath. People change and promises are broken, clouds will move and-."

Nick cut him off, said good-bye to me and grabbed his arm, pulling him away. They started to walk in the direction of their house. I smiled as Joe started to sing "Nick J Is Off The Chain". As mad as the kid makes me, it's nice to know I can still smile.

I walked home, luckily my parents were out of town this weekend, and went to the freezer. I got out the pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream and grabbed a spoon. I headed over to my couch and wrapped myself in a blanket. I then proceeded to cry some more as I shoveled ice cream in my mouth.

I cried for Miley, because everyone seems to love her, no matter what. I cried for Nick, because he seems to genuinely care about me. I cried for Oliver, because he still has no idea what was going on and whose fault is that? I cried for Joe, because I think he knows exactly what he's doing when it seems like he doesn't, like singing me that song. I cried for John, because he's so self-centered and truly clueless. I cried for Kevin, because I don't think he realizes how much he hurt me when he walked out the door. But mostly, I cried for myself. Because I got played.

I liked Kevin Jonas. And I really thought he liked me too.

Lilly

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Hey guys! I got my inspiration back! Not only did I write this in an afternoon, but I outlined the next (and last) two chapters! I'm really excited for the ending and I hope you guys like it. I'm leaving for New Jersey this morning and I'll be gone for the next week and a half. I'll be able to write, but I'm not totally sure if I can update. Hopefully I can, but if not, I'll just have alot to put up when I get back. Thanks for reading!


	9. Everything

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

* * *

Dear Diary,

I was under the impression that best friends were supposed to look out for you. Or do what's best for you. I think Miley's best friend function is broken or something.

I've spent the past week moping in my room. I've listened to sad music, kept my room dark and cold, and didn't get out of bed. That changed this morning when Miley came barging into my room, changed my music to Hannah Montana, and opened my blinds. She turned to face me, her hands on her hips.

"OK that's it. I've let you grieve this week, but enough is enough! Kevin is a boy and boys are stupid. Do not let him affect you this much. You're young, you're hot, and you should be having fun! That is why I've set you up on a blind date."

Secret pop star say what? Before I could protest, she started talking again.

"His name is Colin Taylor. He's the friend of a friend of Jackson's girlfriend's cousin."

Oh my… I think my brain just exploded. I tried to stop her.

"Miley, I don't want to do this. I just want to mourn in peace. Please leave me alone." I rolled over and hid under the covers. It was silent for a few minutes and I thought Miley left before the bed sank slightly and I realized she sat down. When she spoke again, I was surprised to hear it come out as a whisper, her voice soft and broken.

"Lilly, you're my best friend. I hate seeing you like this. It' just that… you deserve so much better than Kevin. I probably don't tell you this enough but you are amazing. Don't ever let a boy make you think different. I just want you to be happy. And I feel guilty because it's my fault you're Lola. When I saw Kevin's face after I told the truth, I realized that he… doesn't deserve you. You're a skateboarder, you're girly, you're tough, strong, loud, loyal, and one of the greatest friends anyone can have. Jesus Lilly, you sparkle. People stop and look at you when you walk or skate by. People notice you and they like you. You can make friends with anyone. You just have this… shine around you. And it kills me that you can't see that. You deserve everything. You deserve to sparkle again. Don't let some guy like Kevin Jonas take away your self-respect, your dignity, your ability to enjoy life."

Wow. Talk about emotional. I looked at Miley with tears in my eyes. She was crying too. I pulled her into a hug and we just sat there for a long time. Finally I pulled back and wiped my eyes.

"OK, I'll go. What time is he picking me up? And what should I wear?"

Miley jumped up and clapped her hands, "Great! Well. He said he was going to pick you up at 6 and you should probably wear something girly but not too girly. I don't think he's taking you anywhere fancy but you should still look nice. And what will we do with your hair? Some up some down? This is perfect! I know you're going to have a great time! Eepp!"

I smiled and listened to her ramble. This is the Miley I know. I decided to let her have her fun and let her take over.

6 hours later I was on the couch at Miley's house, waiting for this Colin character. I was wearing a black flowy skirt that went right above my knee and a green tank top. I had on green Converse and my hair was straight and pulled back from my face. I had on some makeup but not a lot. To sum it up, I looked hot. And for the first time in a week, I felt good. Miley sat next to me and I think she was more excited than I was. The doorbell rang and Miley jumped up and pulled me up with her.

"OK it's time. I have a really good feeling about this. Remember to have fun! Go on! Open the door!!"

I laughed slightly at her excitement and went to the door. I opened it and in walked an extremely hot guy. He had shaggy brown hair, green eyes, and was slightly tan. He flashed me the most amazing smile and stuck out his hand. He shook mine while saying, "Lilly, right? I'm Colin. It's really nice to meet you. So I made reservations at this Italian restaurant down the street. Are you ready to go?"

I got myself ready to embarrass myself and was totally shocked when I heard a voice.

"That sounds great. Who told you I love Italian? Well we better get going. See ya Miley."

The voice was confident and calm. Then I realized it was ME! I managed to speak normally. It was a miracle. In fact, the entire night was a miracle. We drove to the restaurant and managed to talk about basically anything and everything. The conversation carried throughout dinner. Colin was smart, witty, funny, and a great conversationalist. The night flew by and I can honestly say it was the best date of my life. The next thing I knew, we were standing on Miley's porch saying goodnight. He took my hands and leaned in close to my face. He started to whisper.

"Lilly, I had a great time tonight. You are amazing. You're funny, smart, and really cute. And I think I'm going to kiss you."

He leaned in and gave me a short, sweet kiss. He pulled back and smiled at me. He took a step back and spoke normally.

"Well. I'll call you later. I really want to see you again." He walked away and left me standing alone.

"See you later," I whispered. I pretty much floated into the Stewart's living room. Miley and Nick were sitting on the couch, watching a movie. When Miley saw me, she jumped up and paused the movie. She ran to me and grabbed me.

"Well?! What happened?"

I sighed and walked to the couch.

"Miles, it was perfect. Colin was a total gentleman. We talked the entire time. I paid attention to everything he said. I didn't cry or freak out. It was totally normal. It was the best date I've ever been on."

And with that, I burst into tears. I saw Miley and Nick give each other an alarmed look and sat down on either side of me. Nick gently put his arm around me and Miley rubbed my knee. She hesitated a little and then began to speak.

"Lilly, normally people enjoy dates like that. What's wrong?"

I looked at her through my tears and took a breath.

"He isn't Kevin. I was able to follow the conversation because he didn't distract me with his good looks. I didn't ramble because he didn't make me nervous. I didn't spaz in front of him because I didn't really like him."

Miley gave me a sympathetic look and squeezed my knee.

"Oh Lilly…"

I cut her off in a shaky whisper.

"You told me I deserve everything. Well, Kevin is my everything."

Miley shot a look at Nick. She spoke a little coldly.

"I hope your brother is happy."

Nick pulled me into him and began to speak earnestly.

"He's not happy Lilly. He's pretty miserable. All he does is mope around and write sad songs. He's lost without you Lilly. But he's having a hard time admitting he was wrong. He's an idiot."

I laughed slightly and stood up.

"Well I agree with you there Nick. Miley, I'm just going to go to bed. G'night Nick." Before I went up the stairs, I turned around. Miley and Nick were whispering. And I got scared. Because Miley was up to something. She had her scheming face on.

And I've been friends with Miley long enough to know that if she has her scheming face on, it means trouble for me.

Oh boy.

Lilly

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Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I updated but I was on vacation and had no downtime and no access to a computer for that matter. Everytime I tried to write, I got distracted. But no worries! I have the last chapter almost entirely written out. I can't believe this is almost over. Thank you s much to everyone who has read this story and stuck with me even though I fail at updating. (:


	10. Finally

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers**

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Dear Diary,

Do you think it's possible to have a happy ever after? I mean, Disney has basically given me an unrealistic expectation of men. They are all handsome, kind, and fall in love with the girl within five minutes. I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen in real life. Don't relationships take work? But it is possible to be happy in one, right? I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. My mind is all in a jumble. A LOT happened today.

It all started when I saw Miley's scheming face two days ago. She was suspiciously cheerful the day after my disaster dating experience. All day she was humming and she kept staring at me. Whenever I called her out on it she would deny she was looking at me and skip away. She spent a lot of time on the phone with someone. She would have whispered conversations that would end when I walked by. I'm almost positive she was talking to Nick. And I knew something was up this morning when she told me she had a concert tonight and that I was coming, but before I came I would be going to get my makeup done and that she had a hot new wig for me.

So by the time I was backstage at the concert (with my professionally done makeup and my long straight brown wig with purple and pink highlights) I was pretty jumpy. I kept my head on a swivel looking for birds or ninjas or anything else Miley could surprise me with. And let me tell you being observant is pretty tiring. So by the end of the concert I was exhausted. I figured I was paranoid and Miley wasn't going to do anything. I was going to up home and go to bed. Nothing could wake me up.

"Lilly guess what! I have a surprise guest I want you to meet!"

Except that. My eyes flew open and I looked at Miley warily.

"Miley, come on. I'm tired and I just want to go to bed. I'll meet them next time."

Miley grabbed my arm and pulled me up. She pushed me towards the door saying, "Trust me. You'll want to see them."

Them? I realized who it was just as Miley opened the door.

There standing against the wall were those stupid Jonas Brothers. Well Nick and Joe are OK so mostly it was that stupid Kevin standing there. I scanned over Nick with his trademark sheepish smile and Joe who smirked at me and winked. It took all the strength I had to look at Kevin. When I finally got the courage to look at him, my heart almost broke again. He refused to look at me and kept his eyes on the ground. I couldn't tell if he was angry or sad. But it was pretty obvious he didn't want to be anywhere near me. Luckily, I can take a hint. I shook my head and turned to the exit. I started yelling at Miley over my shoulder.

"You have got to be kidding me Hannah. You have done some pretty stupid things before but this takes the cake. I can't believe you invited them. And yes, Jonas Brothers, I am aware you can hear me. Nick and Joe, I want you two to know how mad I am that you went along with this. I'm not speaking to him so just forget it."

I was so caught up in my dramatic speech that I missed the exit sign and the stairs that led to it. So once again I fell down the Staircase of Doom. Once I hit the floor I just screamed at the top of my lungs, "Goddammit!!"

Miley, Nick, and Joe took a step away from the staircase, almost like they knew not to help me. So Kevin had no choice but to help me. He ran down the stairs with concern in his eyes. The other three looked like Christmas had come early. They knew Kevin would help me if no one else did. Tears sprang to my eyes as I recalled the last time this happened. He reached down to lift me up but I moved away from him.

"No. You don't get to touch me. Ever. Go to hell Kevin."

I stomped out of the arena, leaving a hurt Kevin and a shocked Miley, Nick, and Joe, and ran to the nearest coffee place. I went into the bathroom and changed back into Lilly. As I was making up my mind that I will never again listen to Miley, I opened the door and ran into someone.

"Oh I'm sorry. That was my fault."

Then I noticed who I was talking to. I turned to leave when he grabbed my arm.

"Come on Lilly. We need to talk"

I pulled my arm away and began to walk. To my annoyance he followed me.

"You want to talk now Kevin? Where were you when I wanted to talk? Oh yeah, that's right. You ran away. There's nothing left to talk about."

"OK you're right. I was being dumb."

I snorted. Talk about understatement of the year. Dumb was not the word I would use to describe Kevin's actions.

"You got that right Jonas."

Kevin started to look angry. He grabbed my arm again and pulled me out of the coffee shop and into a side street. All in all, it was pretty shady. My third greatest irrational fear (behind birds and ninjas) is dark alleys. Which we were in. Right now. But before I could hyperventilate, Kevin began to speak again.

"Alright. I get it. You're pissed off at me. But will you just listen to me without adding some stupid sarcastic comment?"

Hmph. Great start Kevin. You sure know how to make a girl feel special. Seriously, who gave this guy lessons on how to talk to girls? I swallowed my sarcastic comments and gave him a curt nod instead. Kevin took a breath and grabbed my hands. Sparks flew up my arms. Focus Lilly. You are really mad at him. Don't give in to his charm. My inner swooning was interrupted by Kevin's voice.

"I know I overreacted the night you and Miley told us the truth. I probably should have stayed and talked to you about it. But you have to understand something. I'm the oldest Jonas Brother. As a general rule, girls don't like me. They always go for hot Joe or sensitive Nick. When I found out that Lola wasn't real, I was devastated. The first girl my brother's age liked me and she wasn't even real. You lied about who you were. How was I supposed to know if you lied about your feelings for me? And I got my answer later that night when I was walking around, trying to clear my head. I saw you Lilly. Not even an hour after I left Miley's house and you were outside some record store kissing a guy. I wasn't even mad. Disappointed would be a better word. I called Nick and Joe and told them to cover for me if you came looking for me. How could you do that Lilly?"

I stared at him and gave a hallow laugh.

"Are you kidding me, Kevin? If you would have stayed around five seconds longer, you would have seen me shove him off me and yell at him. He's a jerk and I pretty much hate him. But at least he was there for me while I was crying my eyes out over you."

Kevin looked uncomfortable but continued on.

"Well, that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me."

I gave him a blank stare. And I tried to hide the pain I was in when I spoke.

"When I was with you I wasn't Lola. I was Lilly with a wig on. And when you walked out that door after we told the truth, I was broken. Because every other boy I've liked never really liked me. But you were different. You still asked me out after all the disasters of our first meeting. And you asked me to be your girlfriend after the first date form hell. You were the one. At least… I thought you were. Because in the end, you were like every other guy. You didn't like the real me. So I'm sure that you're sorry. And I'm sorry too. But the truth is, it's not going to work out. You know nothing about Lilly. And maybe it should stay that way."

As I spoke, I saw the anger in Kevin's eyes diminish. By the time my speech was finished, Kevin just looked defeated. I pulled my hands out of his and turned to walk away. Before I could go, Kevin began to speak so quietly I almost missed it.

"I know you have an irrational fear of birds. I know you hate French food. I know you're easily distracted. I know your eye twitches when you're nervous. And I know that I'm falling in love with you."

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around, in total disbelief. Kevin Jonas loves me? What kind of crazy thought is that?

"Why would you love me? I'm a spaz. I'm a klutz. I fall down staircases. I punch people because I think they're birds. I have an irrational fear of ninjas. I don't listen very well. I yell when I should really talk. And I'm a sidekick. What's supposed to happen is that I love you but you love Miley. Trust me, no one falls for the sidekick."

Kevin smiled at me and grabbed my hands again.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but Joe and Nick are the leaders of the band. I'm a sidekick too. And you know, us sidekicks have to stay together."

And with that he pulled me into a kiss.

So there you have it. After everything that happened, Kevin and I ended up together. And so the sidekick got the happy ending.

I think this will be the last time I write in you Diary, because really, let's be honest here. You're less of a Diary and more like a guide of what one shouldn't do when trying to date a Jonas Brother.

And thankfully, I finally figured that one out.

Lilly

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Wow. So it's finally done. Thank you so much to all the readers who kept reading this, even with my crazy updating. I had a lot of fun writing this but now I'm going to go back to writing Hannah Montana canon and Camp Rock fics. So keep a look out for the next few weeks with a couple of oneshots. Thanks again for reading!


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